I turned off the music. Now I wanted silence. I lay curled up and staring at the wall. A few months ago this place was a poster One Step, but after meeting the guys it took off, because I had them in real life.
Passed minutes and hours, and I still looked at one point. It reminded me that on the shelf in the dressing room is t-shirt he left James. Quickly I got up and went to the her. With t-shirt in hand returned to bed. I put my head on his shirt. I wanted to smell the boy. I could feel tears running down my steep and t-shirt. At one point I sighed and sat down. I looked around the room, which in every corner reminded me of James. After a few seconds, I went to the bathroom. I was hoping that taking a shower wash the self all the pain and suffering. However, the water didnt change anything. I went back to the room and lay down again, hugging T-shirt. I had no strength to cry. I heard a knock at the door. Dont be deceived, it's my James. Even I didnt react to the sound. After a while, my mom came into the room.
- Are you sleeping? - she asked.
I didnt answer anything.
- Why you threw dress? - Again I heard her question. - It was a gift from James.
- That's why I threw it - I muttered.
- What happened? Can we talk?
- James cast me - I said, and burst into tears.
My mother sat on the bed and hugged me. Not only resisted snuggled into her even more. Her clothing soaked with tears, and she stroked my hair.
At the same moment we heard the doorbell ring. Mom got up and went to open it. I heard back on top.
- You have a visitor - she told and then went downstairs.
I felt the heart beat faster. This time I deluded myself that it was James. I looked toward the door. Harry stood in the doorway with a big plush dog.
- Get out! I dont want to see you - I shouted, and eyes welled with tears again.
However, the boy went inside, closed the door and said:
- You can hate me, you can insult me, though I dont know why. But I didnt do anything to you. Do you remember? You wanted a little puppy. Shops are already closed so I bought that. I dont know whether it is a puppy, but it is sweet.
He put a stuffed animal on the bed. I looked at the gift, and then at the boy. I got up, walked to the window and cried. Harry walked up to me and hugged me, saying,
- This asshole doesn't deserve your love and not worth shed tears because of it.
I turned and looked at the boy.
- Do you know? But I love this asshole wildly. I love and hate.
At this moment we heard a knock and the door opened. My mom brought us juice and cake. Then, without a word went out, and I pulled away from Harry.
- I know, Jess, I know.
- You don't know.
- You don't know how much I know about the pain, suffering.
- What are you doing here? After all, you went to the family - I changed the subject.
- Yes, I went. But when I found out what happened and how you suffer, I couldnt stand on the site so I came today. Tomorrow morning I'm leaving. I promised my mother that I will spend those few days with them, but I'll be back. And before going on tour I'll come to you too.
- You know, Harry? This meeting today with you is our last meeting.
- Jess, what are you talking about? - Asked horrified.
- I completed my stage of life called "One Step". I want to close this chapter and never to return. You create unity. Looking at you I see James, and all shared moments with him.
- I don't want to associate you with the suffering that gave you James. I'm not like him.
- You're all the same - I said, walking over to the desk and taking a glass of juice. I handed it to Harry.
- You said that we will always be friends, that we can always count on each other. If you want, I can leave the band. I'll do it for you. I dont want to lose you. I want to always be near you.
- There isnt such thing as "forever." If there is I would still be with James. He also said that we ALWAYS be together.
- But I'm not James! After all, you promised me that we will still watch the stars as last time.
- But then I didnt know that it will roll up my life.
- Life goes on. Even without James. After all, you got me, Angela, Alex, Rose, Matt, Craig, Lewis.
- No, Harry. I no longer belong to your pack. Been able to live without me for so many years before we met, so now you can do just fine.
- No, I cant live without you.
- You'll have to, because my life has changed dramatically yesterday. Now my place will be Stella.
- Who? - He said with a chuckle juice.
- Stella. New girlfriend of James. Do you know her?
- No, I dont. But .... I should tell you this a long time ago. Do you remember how little dont beat James? How do you interrupted me, "James you ..."?
I listened to all this in silence. I learned about the message from Stella, which he read Harry.
- You couldnt tell me this before? - I cried. Eyes welled with tears again.
- I'm sorry.
- You're just like him! He only said "sorry"!
- James said that you wouldnt believe me. And he was right. You believed him. Even just laughed at me.
- Get out!
- Jess ...
- You lied to me! Hiding the truth! Did you have fun? I hate you! Disappear from my life forever as James! - Screaming, crying.
He wanted to hug me, but I pushed him away.
- Get out!
Harry bowed his head and walked out. I burst out crying even louder. Two people that I loved the most, lied to me. I hate them.
I finished my juice and threw a glass at the door. Shattered, and pieces of glass scattered across the floor. I took the biggest chunk and I turned it in his hand. I looked at his sharp edges that hurt my hand.