Saturday, 8 February 2014

Chapter 2nd.

- Tell me what happened - I said in a loud voice.
- I ... I met someone.
- What?! - I asked incredulously.
- I met a girl. I met her a long time ago. I fell in love with her. You know ... I love her. It seems to me that .... I love her more than you. Today, it is understood. I can't hurt you anymore and cheat. It's over.
- You cast me? - I said. My voice cracking.
- I ... I don't know how to say it. I love you too, but I realized that she has that "something" that attracts me. I realized that I want to spend the rest life with her.
- This is the blonde girl, right?
- Yes. I love Stella. Now what I'm with her.
- What with our dinner?
- Dinner? Sorry.
- How could you? I loved you so much, and you what? - Raised my voice.
I hung up because I couldn't do more to squeeze out of each other. I paid for the wine and walked out of the restaurant. I cried even more. I looked at the ringing phone. Shown a picture of a smiling James. This view struck me even more. After all, I picked up saying:
- Leave me alone. Stella is better.
- Jess, I'm sorry - said the hearing in which I am able.
- Do you think that the word "sorry" change anything? Will ease my pain? You're wrong. I don't even know how much I hurt.
- I know how you feel. Sorry. I'm really sorry.
- What you asshole you know about my feelings now! Been my whole world. You used me. I hate you.
I hung up. I didn't want to go home in such a state, but also didn't want to walk around London catching the eyes of others. I headed to the park. It was the only place that came to mind. The river was too far away. Sitting on the bench is still crying. I couldnt hold back the tears. People who passed me looked at me, but they dont know about me. My world fell apart. At this time I wouldnt live. In my head I had one thought: Why did the car killed me? Even then would end my suffering. I couldnt get over what I heard, what happened. I sat on a bench and  still cried. I pulled the legs up to chin and wrapped her arms them. Soaked dress from James. It was already dirty black ink, which I had painted lashes. Still in my head I hummed the words boyfriend about the future and those that heard today.
I looked at my watch. Reached ten. My body was so exhausted that I had no strength to cry. I sat and stared straight ahead. I felt like a drug addict going through withdrawal narcotic.
I didn't see any future for themselves. I decided to go home. I got there in half an hour. I immediately went to each other. I cringed at the bed and at the same time my phone rang. I took it out of the bag. I was sure that James is calling to say that it was just a joke and he's sorry. The display was blinking picture of Harry. I rejected the call because I didn't want to talk to anyone. The boy didn't give up. For any time I picked.
- Why are you calling? You already know and want to comfort me? - I screamed. Then I started laughing hysterically.
- Jess, are you drunk?
- Stoned dreams that vanished like a soap bubble. Don't call me no more. You'll never call me. I stopped there for you. You'll never see me. I promise you that. Disappear from your world forever.
- Jess, what are you talking about? Tell me how it was for dinner.
- Fuck, what about dinner?! It was great. I was waiting for my love forty minutes, I drank a glass of wine, and later found out that my boyfriend loves another. Great, isn't it?
Again, I started to laugh. Laugh and cry.
- Jess, I don't understand. Tell me what happened.
- James cast me! - I said, her voice breaking. - He said that the more he loves Stella and with her ​​he wants to spend the rest of his life. She has that "something" as he said it.
Again I started to laugh. After a while I burst into tears and hung up. Harry called me but I didn't I received. It just made me nervous so I turned off the phone. I lay there and cried. I felt like life escapes me.
At one point I looked at the photos hanging above the desk. I was at them with James. I got up and broke up them. I started to tear them to pieces. I cried hysterically at the same time. After a while I went back to bed, and curled up. I lay and pondered on how my life will look like. What will be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. I don't want tomorrow to get up with the thought that James loves another girl.
I turned on the phone. I had thirty missed calls and more messages. Everything was from Harry. I didn't read any text messages. I immediately had removed them. I didn't want any words of comfort. I opened my popup for writing messages and wrote to Angela.

James cast me. Don't ask. I have no strength to tell what happened. You're my friend why I am writing to you. I hope that Matt won't hurt you and will be happy for life.

I sent and I looked at the wallpaper on the phone that there was a photo of James. I went into the gallery and removed the pictures of his. I wanted to completely erase it from memory. Then I looked at watch. Was after midnight. I felt great fatigue and a terrible headache. I lay curled up staring at the wall. After a while I fell asleep. Woke me headache. I opened my eyes and brought back memories of yesterday. James left me. Automatically sought out the phone under the pillow to look at the wallpaper that was his picture. Amazingly, the wallpaper wasn't. There was blank screen. It reminded me that the night had removed all the photos. I deluded myself that it will be any news from him. There was nothing.

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