Sunday, 30 March 2014

Chapter 8th.


Returning from Jess I cried again. I constantly before eyes I had her hands. When I got to the hous where I lived with the rest of the band, I immediately headed to my room. I didn't answet the questions guys who were amazed that I was already in London. I lay down on the bed and lay there in silence, and the tears ran down my face. I took out my cell phone from my pocket and opened the window for writing messages. I wrote to Jess:

 love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

I'll love you forever. I'll always be waiting for you.

I sent and waited for a response. However, this didnt come. I sighed and closed my eyes. Despite the afternoon hours I wanted to sleep. Unfortunately, I heard a knock and Matt came into the room. 
- Good morning. She isnt here. A few minutes ago she went to the station. 

- Harry, what happened? You had to come back tomorrow. 
- I miss London. 
- Tell the truth, cuz somehow hard to believe that you miss for us. 
- I was with Jess. You know she had cut up? 
- What are you talking about?!
- She was a suicide attempt. Tomorrow she goes and I dont know where. He says that forever. It's all by James!
- I'll talk to Angela. Maybe she knows something. 
After these words he came out, and I was alone. I lay and mentioned watching the stars on our river. I wanted so badly to this moment never ended. I would go back to that moment. I could have told her about the message. May she have believed. 
I was able to fall asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night. I went downstairs to the kitchen, because I felt hungry. I took out the jar of Nutella from the cupboard and began to eat it with a spoon. I was thinking what to do to Jess didnt go. I know! I'll go to her in the morning and declare to her. Maybe then she will believe in my love. I smiled at his own thoughts. It's just that I dont have a ring. It's nothing. If she agrees, we'll go together to a jeweler. Or not. I'll go in the morning and buy the most beautiful ring that will be in the store.
I went upstairs. I took a shower, and then with a smile I was able to fall asleep. Before that, I set the alarm cuz i didnt want to oversleep. Although even I didnt know when Jess was leaving.
The sound of the alarm tore me from sleep. I got up lucky because I had a good plan for how to stop Jess. I took a quick shower, got dressed and left. I havent eaten anything because I was too bad time. I had to make it before leaving Jess. Fifteen minutes later, parked in front of a jewelry store. I know that when driving broke many rules, but now I dont care. I went inside and I started to look around.
- Can I help you? - I heard the voice of jeweler.
- Yes. I need the most beautiful ring for a girl. For my future wife - I said proudly. - Invalid price. It just has to be the nicest.
The man smiled. After a moment, watching the engagement rings. I chose one of them. It seemed to me the most beautiful. Jeweler packed it in a box in the shape of a heart. I paid and quickly left the store. I got into the car and headed for homeof Jess. Standing in front of her door, I felt like my heart thumping. I took a deep breath and pressed the bell. After a moment, the door opened and I saw Jess's mom. 
- Good morning. Can I talk to Jess? - I asked with a smile on my face despite the slight nervousness. 

I felt like a smile out of my face. Not saying anything I turned and ran to the car. I started with a screech of tires. I broke all the rules of the road that apply. I couldnt let her leave. I couldnt lose her. It was the last chance.

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Chapter 7th.


Yesterday and today I spent the day in bed. My mom didnt went to work and took care of me. What a moment came asking if I dont need anything. I had to think about what to do next. I made a few phone calls. One of them was to Angela. I said that I have to leave and start my life differently. I told her also that if I dont have the forces to meet with her ​​and Alex. I apologized to her for it. She wasnt mad at me. In the evening, when to my room once again expectant mother said: 
- I want to go for a while. I wanna forget what happened and begin my new life as a quite different Jess. I settled everything. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow.
- I won't stop you. You're an adult. I think it's a good decision. We'll go shopping tomorrow?
I was torn after hearing this question. On the one hand I didnt want to leave the house, but then I promised myself that I forget about James.
- Yes, we'll go - I said confident. - I need to buy some new stuff for the new phase of life.
My mother hugged me. I noticed that her tears flowed.
- Mom, dont cry - I said, my voice breaking.
- I'm not crying - she said, giving me a smile, and surreptitiously wiping away tears. I pretended that I dont see. - Are you hungry? I made waffles.
We went downstairs. I made hot chocolate and together with my mother sat down to the table. We drank, ate and talked as if nothing had happened, although my heart is still bleeding. Later, I went to each other. I lay down on the bed, I put the headphones and along with the sounds of Coldplay moved to a completely different world. At one point, I fell asleep. I woke up after ten. Full of verve took a shower, got dressed and makeup done. Unwrapped the bandages and I wrapped my hands with new ones. I regretted what I did. The scars that will always be reminded me of James. Boyfriend, whom I love so much, but I hope that my trip will help me to forget about the past.
I went downstairs to the kitchen where already was my mother. Seeing her I forced a smile on my face.
She returned the gesture. We ate breakfast and we went to the mall. It was hot, and I had a sweatshirt with long sleeves. Walking a few hours after the store I bought a few new things. They were long sleeve shirts and jeans and shorts. We did the shopping for dinner. For those few hours, I managed to forget about James. After returning home, my mom took for preparing dinner, and I went to pack. I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm starting a new life. I hope that a better life. I put into the bag a few books, a laptop and other trinkets. In the dressing room I took the clothes for different weather and packed. I was standing and looking at the suitcase I wondered what else to take. Eventually I left baggage in the dressing room, not standing in the middle of the room. I sat on the bed and looked around his room. So much reminded me of James. About all the times spent together.
At the same moment I heard a knock at the door. Harry walked into my room. Seeing him, I immediately got up.
- What are you doing here? - I asked sharply.
- I need to talk to you.
- Get out! everything said.
- I'm not leaving until you dont hear.
- Then I go out - I said and walked past him toward the door.
At this point, he grabbed my hand. It hurt me because he caught me in a place where I had the wound.
- Leave me - I hissed his face contorted in a grimace of pain.
- I beg you, stay.
He grabbed my other hand. I winced even more. I wanted to wrench out of his grasp, but at this point the sleeve of my sweatshirt revealed bandage. Harry saw it, gave me the sleeve up. He terrified face. He did the same with my other hand. Seeing my two bandages on my forearms, looked me in the eye.
- Jess, what did you do? - He asked quietly. - It's by James?
- No. - I said, looking down.
Harry crouched down in front of me and put my bandaged hands to his face. He began to kiss bandage. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.
- Harry get out - I said.
- I beg, Jess. Listen to me.
He stood up and looked at me. I saw the eyes flowing with tears.
- Harry, I'm leaving tomorrow.
- You're leaving? Where? For how long?
- Forever. I want to start a new life. Away from you, from James. From around the One Step. I want to forget about you. My stage of life with you in the lead role has been completed. My luck was that I met you, but the biggest mistake was that I loved you.
- Jess, I beg you. Stay. Dont leave. I love you. I won't hurt you, James. Give me a chance.
- Harry, love isnt there. I don't want it. I don't want beautiful words, and then disappointment.
- You promised to be my friend, and friends don't leave overnight. Friends keep their word.
- Friends don't lie, and you lied to me.
- You wouldn't believe me if I had told you about the message.
- You don't know. You're always know how to bugger up everything that is beautiful.
- Jess give me a chance. Let me be with you and love you. You know what I feel for you. I don't proceed like the idiot.
- No, Harry. Now please, leave me alone.
He lowered his head and walked out. Into my room came my mother and telling me that dinner is ready and I have to go down. I went and sat down at the table.
- For what came Harry? - Asked my mother at some point.
I told her about our conversation. After dinner I finished packing. I turned on the DVD my favorite movie. So I missed the rest of the day and evening.

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Chapter 6th.


Returning from Jess, I cried the whole way. Almost have caused the accident, but fortunately nothing happened. I've never seen Jess in such a condition. She looked like she was suffering from a serious illness. I wish I had told her earlier messages from Stella. Maybe everything would be different. Now she doesnt want to see me. She thinks that I deliberately lied to her. I would never lie. She doesnt even know what I would do for her. I love her so much.
When I parking the car in front of the house, quickly got out and went inside. I wanted to hunt down the asshole who had hurt her. As low threshold shouted:
- James!
Craig sat in the living room with Alex. They said that the blonde is not at home. Seeing me amazed.
- What are you doing here? You went to the family - said the boy.
- I came straight to Jess today. You know what she is able! She doesnt want to talk to me, but it's my fault, because I knew about the messages from Stella, and dont tell her. He hates me for it.
- I was with her today - said Alex. - I saw her.
- I'll kill James as soon as I see him. Tomorrow morning I go back to my parents because today I have to talk to him.
- Harry, I think it isnt a good idea. You know how it ends - as usual pretended Craig wisest. This time he was right, but I would insist on his own.
I went to his room. I sat down on the bed and picked up the phone. I turned on the gallery and started watching photos of Jess. She was smiling at them. It was quite a different person than the one I saw today. I started to cry. I cant survive that, I couldnt see her any more. I need to prove to her that I love her.
I sat and I mentioned all the good moments spent with her. I decided to call her. She wouldnt answer, but I dont I subjected. I knew I had to talk to her. I knew that this may be my last chance. Finally received. She didnt give me anything to explain. I felt that I lost her. By this even more hated James.
I heard the front door slam. Only he always crackled them. I waited until he goes to himself. I got up and took a deep breath. I could feel tears me angry. I went to his room. I went in without knocking, which I immediately heard the boy's voice raised:
- You cant knock?!
- You dont deserve humane treatment! How could you hurt Jess?! You know how she feels now?! You know how it looks?
- Exaggerate - he said rolling his eyes. - Anyway, you dont know anything.
- I dont know?! Repressed messages! Forbade me to tell Jess, and now she hates me for it!
I threw myself at him. I pushed him on the shelf. Fromthe shelves dropped CDs, and books.
- Control yourself! - he shouted.
- I hate you! - I shouted, grabbing the laptop. With all my strength threw it on the floor. Shattered, as I heard a scream the blonde:
- What are you doing?! Destroyed my computer!
- That by him, and for you, Jess hates me!
I grabbed his shirt and yanked him. His t-shirt is ripped. At this point, Craig ran into the room and began to pull me away from James.
- Leave me alone! - I shouted.
- Harry, calm down! It wont help. You'll get a problem!
I pulled up and threw on a blonde. He pushed me. I hit my head on the shelf. In the face flowed my blood, but I felt no pain. Seeing red liquid on my hand shouted:
- I'll kill you! For Jess and for what you've done to me now!
Craig didnt let me get close to the boy. He pulled me by force and led from the room. Forcibly escorted me to my room and threw me on the bed.
- Harry, it wont change anything! - He said. - We need another way to help Jess.
- She doesnt want anyone to see - I said, and my eyes filled with tears. At the same time Alex came into the room. Seeing my cut on forehead ran quickly after the patch. I disinfected the wound and bandage stuck. I sat and cried, and the girl sat down next to me. She hugged me and tried to comfort me. I realized that beating James wont change anything. If I want to recover Jess I should do something else. I have to come up with something.
- I wanna be alone - I said.
- But dont go out of the room - I heard even my friend and together with his fiancée left my room.
I lay down on the bed and started to think what to do. At one point, I fell asleep. I dont even know when it happened.
I woke up at 8 a.m. Typically, slept longer, but today I had to go back to the family home. I promised the family. I took a quick shower and changed clothes. I ate cereal with milk, and then I quickly hit the road. I didnt want to fall in the morning on James, I dont know how it would end. Would willingly have remained in London to be near Jess, but she wouldnt want to see me so even the trip to the family is a good idea. Maybe there I can come up with something. I was going and I though about a teenage girl. I should be happy that she isnt longer with James but seeing as she is suffering I would prefer that they were still a couple. Then she was smiling and she liked me. Now she hates me. I dont even want to think that our friendship may be over. I need it. She is my oxygen. I need his in my life.
A few hours later I was already in place. As I promised my sister and my mom went shopping. I didnt head to the madness of the mall, but I wanted to make them happy. Mother probably noticed that something was wrong because the few times she asked if something had happened and asked about my wound on his forehead. I didnt like lying to her, but I didnt want to tell her the truth. It wasnt the right place or time.
After returning home, I was still lost in thought. My mom and Jenny did dinner, and I sat in the living room. I turned on the computer and I logged on Twitter. The trend was James and Stella. Everywhere circulated photos of them dating. The blond was happy as ever with Jess. Seeing all this, I felt as angry tears me up inside. I was afraid that these images didnt see my friend. I went in person to observe and started looking for her. I was surprised because she should be at the beginning. It wasnt her. In the search I typed the name of her Twitter, but nothing has displayed. She removed the account. All accounts on social networks, which have been removed. It scared me. It looked as if Jess didnt exist. Or is it all a dream, and this girl really doesnt exist? Maybe all these months I lived in some disease? No, I'm healthy. I know that there is Jess, I love her, and she now suffers.
My meditation was interrupted by my mother going into the living room and said:
- Come for dinner.
- Yes, yes. I'm coming - I said, closing the laptop. To be honest, I was not at all hungry.
I followed her and sat down in front of my sister. I ate in silence. At one point I looked at my mom, which was sad. I gave her a smile and started asking what's new. We talked about everything and about nothing. I didnt want to mother noticed my sadness. Though still suspected something.
In the evening I arranged with old friends. We had to go to my friend. I was glad that it wont a girl because before my eyes again, I had Jess.
The event was a success. I miss my old pack. We remembered old times. We laughed and drank beer. I returned home in the morning. I felt like a roar in my head. I immediately went to sleep. I slept late. I could sleep longer if not for my mother, who came to wake me for dinner. I took in quickly and went downstairs. I was really hungry. Mother asked me how it was at the party. I said that it was great. We talked about plans for the evening. I didnt have any plans, but my sister went out on a date with her boyfriend. When it announced, I felt sorry, but I didnt let it show it. I should enjoy her happiness.
In the evening, while sitting in the living room and drinking coffee with my mom, I constantly looked at my cell phone. I hope that Jess will call or write. My mother probably noticed it because I asked if I wait for a phone. I sighed and replied that no.
- Harry, tell me what happened. I'm your mother and I'm worried. I can see that something is wrong. Yet this your wound on his head.
- For four days we go on tour. I wont be for many months. And this is nothing - added by touching the patch.
- You didnt tell me that you're worried about this? It's about a girl? Do you have any problems?
- Really everything is fine. I have no problems.
- I can see that something's bothering you.
I decided not to lie to her again and told everything that lay in my heart. My mother listened in silence.
- Do you love her? - Asked at the end.
I didnt know what to say. But then I said:
- Yes, I love it. But she doesnt want to forgive me for not telling her about the message.
- You know, Harry? If it was then told she wouldnt believe you. She now suffers, and that is why says that she hates you. You have to give her time, but you need to show her that you are with her. And that you'll be forever near to her.
- It isnt easy, especially that in a few days we leave on tour. I wontt see her for many months.
- I know you still be here tomorrow, but go to her. Stay with her. Even if she doesnt want. I wish your happiness, and if the girl gives it to you and you love her then you should fight and be with her. So get up in the morning and get back to London. It is late so I dont want you riding at night. Remember, if you have any problems you can always rely on me.
- Thank you, Mom. I love you - I said, hugging her.
- I love you too, son.
I went upstairs to pack his things. I hope that the family wont blame me for that went before.