Yesterday and today I spent the day in bed. My mom didnt went to work and took care of me. What a moment came asking if I dont need anything. I had to think about what to do next. I made a few phone calls. One of them was to Angela. I said that I have to leave and start my life differently. I told her also that if I dont have the forces to meet with her and Alex. I apologized to her for it. She wasnt mad at me. In the evening, when to my room once again expectant mother said:- I want to go for a while. I wanna forget what happened and begin my new life as a quite different Jess. I settled everything. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow.
- I won't stop you. You're an adult. I think it's a good decision. We'll go shopping tomorrow?
I was torn after hearing this question. On the one hand I didnt want to leave the house, but then I promised myself that I forget about James.
- Yes, we'll go - I said confident. - I need to buy some new stuff for the new phase of life.
My mother hugged me. I noticed that her tears flowed.
- Mom, dont cry - I said, my voice breaking.
- I'm not crying - she said, giving me a smile, and surreptitiously wiping away tears. I pretended that I dont see. - Are you hungry? I made waffles.
We went downstairs. I made hot chocolate and together with my mother sat down to the table. We drank, ate and talked as if nothing had happened, although my heart is still bleeding. Later, I went to each other. I lay down on the bed, I put the headphones and along with the sounds of Coldplay moved to a completely different world. At one point, I fell asleep. I woke up after ten. Full of verve took a shower, got dressed and makeup done. Unwrapped the bandages and I wrapped my hands with new ones. I regretted what I did. The scars that will always be reminded me of James. Boyfriend, whom I love so much, but I hope that my trip will help me to forget about the past.
I went downstairs to the kitchen where already was my mother. Seeing her I forced a smile on my face.
She returned the gesture. We ate breakfast and we went to the mall. It was hot, and I had a sweatshirt with long sleeves. Walking a few hours after the store I bought a few new things. They were long sleeve shirts and jeans and shorts. We did the shopping for dinner. For those few hours, I managed to forget about James. After returning home, my mom took for preparing dinner, and I went to pack. I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm starting a new life. I hope that a better life. I put into the bag a few books, a laptop and other trinkets. In the dressing room I took the clothes for different weather and packed. I was standing and looking at the suitcase I wondered what else to take. Eventually I left baggage in the dressing room, not standing in the middle of the room. I sat on the bed and looked around his room. So much reminded me of James. About all the times spent together.
At the same moment I heard a knock at the door. Harry walked into my room. Seeing him, I immediately got up.
- What are you doing here? - I asked sharply.
- I need to talk to you.
- Get out! everything said.
- I'm not leaving until you dont hear.
- Then I go out - I said and walked past him toward the door.
At this point, he grabbed my hand. It hurt me because he caught me in a place where I had the wound.
- Leave me - I hissed his face contorted in a grimace of pain.
- I beg you, stay.
He grabbed my other hand. I winced even more. I wanted to wrench out of his grasp, but at this point the sleeve of my sweatshirt revealed bandage. Harry saw it, gave me the sleeve up. He terrified face. He did the same with my other hand. Seeing my two bandages on my forearms, looked me in the eye.
- Jess, what did you do? - He asked quietly. - It's by James?
- No. - I said, looking down.
Harry crouched down in front of me and put my bandaged hands to his face. He began to kiss bandage. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.
- Harry get out - I said.
- I beg, Jess. Listen to me.
He stood up and looked at me. I saw the eyes flowing with tears.
- Harry, I'm leaving tomorrow.
- You're leaving? Where? For how long?
- Forever. I want to start a new life. Away from you, from James. From around the One Step. I want to forget about you. My stage of life with you in the lead role has been completed. My luck was that I met you, but the biggest mistake was that I loved you.
- Jess, I beg you. Stay. Dont leave. I love you. I won't hurt you, James. Give me a chance.
- Harry, love isnt there. I don't want it. I don't want beautiful words, and then disappointment.
- You promised to be my friend, and friends don't leave overnight. Friends keep their word.
- Friends don't lie, and you lied to me.
- You wouldn't believe me if I had told you about the message.
- You don't know. You're always know how to bugger up everything that is beautiful.
- Jess give me a chance. Let me be with you and love you. You know what I feel for you. I don't proceed like the idiot.
- No, Harry. Now please, leave me alone.
He lowered his head and walked out. Into my room came my mother and telling me that dinner is ready and I have to go down. I went and sat down at the table.
- For what came Harry? - Asked my mother at some point.
I told her about our conversation. After dinner I finished packing. I turned on the DVD my favorite movie. So I missed the rest of the day and evening.